Careful feedback
Sometimes feedback can come across as an attempt to fix aspects of a person’s character. This is very counterproductive because it only provokes resistence.
The authors of Giving Effective Feedback rank the following things from easiest to hardest to influence:
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- job skills (easiest)
- time and work management
- knowledge
- attitudes
- habits
- personality traits (hardest)
As you work down the list the closer you get to the other’s sense of self, and self-esteem. That should be off-limits.
It makes me think of the awful, fruitless, entrenched standoffs that have always occurred between parents and children, sparked by angry statements like “The problem with you is …”
Stick instead to areas that least threaten their sense of self-worth. That means tactics, knowledge, tricks, tips, work routines – their methods, in other words, not their ‘madness’. This equips them to do a better job without attacking who they are.