Feedback: adversarial or collaborative?

31st October 2018

The excuse is often that ‘trial by fire’ is the best way to make a person improve, as if the more horrible the experience, the harder they will work next time to avoid hurt and humiliation.

It doesn’t work: in modern organisations people will just leave if they are faced with unremitting hostility.

Old habits die hard, however, so it may be helpful periodically to run this check on your feedback style.

An adversarial approach:

• Frames the encounter as an argument to be won or lost;

• Assumes the delegatee is shirking and concealing;

• Probes for inconsistencies in what he says;

• Tests him by using past failures as evidence of future failures.

By contrast, a collaborative approach:

• Frames the encounter as productive dialogue to uncover facts, ideas and useful insights;

• Assumes the delegatee is doing his best with the tools and resources at hand;

• Creates a comfortable space for him to disclose all and reflect on the emerging picture;

• Nurtures confidence in him to promote excitement and buy-in.