Double-plus coming of age
If I was forced to share one thing from my learning journey, it would be this: your capacity for success equals the conversations you’re having, minus the conversations you’re not having, multiplied by the way you’re having them.
I say that because I was talking yesterday with my brilliant coach Claire Pedrick about celebrating the 21st birthday of my company this month, and she asked me, “What one piece of wisdom would you give that people would want to share?”
That got my brain racing. I’ve learned so much over the last 21 years in business, and indeed from 46 years in the construction industry. But to come up with one, well, that is the one. Let me explain.
Life is a conversation
My first coach said to me, “Dave, life is a conversation”. I said, “What do you mean?” He answered: “I’m a coach, so I’m not going to tell you. You have to work it out.” That was back in 1996 and I have been since.
Around about this time, I started to lose interest in bricks and blocks and concrete. I was always curious about how the world worked and I started to focus more on people: How they work, what makes them tick, and how teams and organisations go about getting stuff and projects done. This became my passion.
I started paying attention to conversations, the ones I was having with other people and the ones they were having with each other. Also, the conversations I was having with myself. Patterns started to emerge in what seemed to work and what didn’t in relation to conversations and getting big things done. I started joining up some of the dots and my business grew, and so did I as a person and as a coach.
Put it into a formula
In among thousands of conversations, people say things that stick. A few years ago, my friend and fellow coach Andy Robbins said, “It’s about the conversations you’re having, the ones you’re not having and the way you’re having them.” The same week, my then coaching supervisor, Clare Norman, said, “Put it into a formula”, and here it is.
Inside the brackets is about speaking our truth and what we leave out, that which remains unsaid. When my communication is open, honest and complete, I am complete, at one with myself, in integrity.
The way we have those conversations is another matter. When speaking our truth we can lift people up and we can crush them, depending on how we go about it; our intent and technique is a multiplier. Put simply, I believe a coaching style of holding conversations is the most effective way of managing and getting things done. It could be your multiplier for success. I know it’s mine.
This Month DSA Building Performance Ltd is 21 years old.
Back to my conversation with Claire Pedrick, coming of age and wisdom. She said this 21st birthday is different to my first 21st birthday in that, having turned 40, I started the company with a maturity and have since gathered wisdom through experience. I like that, it’s now a kind of double-plus coming of age.
Since July 2001, I have coached many big business leadership teams and project teams who have gone on to success. I have also managed to come through various crises, economic downturns and recessions, some of which have been my busiest times as companies realise they needed to do something different and sought support to work out what and how. Throughout, I have reflected on and captured my experience and learning in my blog posts and the books I’ve written.
So now with a mind to celebrating twenty one years in business I have, for a short time only, dramatically cut the price of the recently published second edition of my latest book, Coach for Results, now available here on Amazon.
Many conversations have worked to get us where we are, so thanks for being part of that even if this is our first. And I hope you read and find the book useful in shaping the conversations you have and the way you have them.